// Dear Diary: I Fell In Love On Tinder

Tinder. Who out there has a Tinder account? I signed up for Tinder in July of 2016. I was actually still dating my ex when I signed up for it; I had no intentions of meeting anyone, though. I was hanging out with my best friend at a flag football game, and she was swiping through her app. I was intrigued about just being able to see new people, all who appeared to be so different, so I thought I'd jump on the Tinder train an see all the different people and kill some boredom in the process.

When I downloaded the app, I was fully aware that my relationship with my ex was absolutely failing, but, like I said, I had no intentions of ever actually using Tinder to meet anyone. I really didn't even want to talk to anyone; the thought of just reading bios and swiping was what convinced me to download it. Little did I know, though, that five months after downloading the app and barely even using it, I'd meet someone that I'd quickly fall totally head-over-heels for.

Right after our New Year's kiss.

Steven came into my life out of nowhere and our relationship kind of caught everyone by surprise. I had only been single for three months before meeting him. What's even crazier than that is that we deemed ourselves a couple after knowing each other for only two weeks. I bet you're thinking it couldn't have gotten any crazier. You're wrong. I told him I loved him a week after that. It was the beautiful beginning to what seemed like your typical high school relationship - rushed, exciting and passionate. But this wasn't some bullshit young boyfriend-girlfriend-thing. It was .. it is .. something so real.

I was enjoying my very short-lived single life. I really was. I was going out every weekend and hanging out with all different types of men and not giving a crap about anything at all. I had stopped using Tinder for a while because I simply got bored of it. The few men I spoke to were so horribly bland. I couldn't tell you how many times "Hey" popped up in my inbox. Guys, here's a word of advice: "Hey" is not a conversation starter. Stop sending that. Seriously. Stop it.

On a cold December Sunday, I was getting ready to head to an open mic in Long Island City with my two lovely comedian friends, and some tremor in the force prompted me to open Tinder. I hadn't been on it for a while and I'm still not sure why I decided to open it, but I did, and there it was: Steven's beautiful face. His bio read something super cute - he enjoyed working and going to the gym; he was all about having a positive mental attitude, and he was looking to establish meaningful friendships with the possibility of one of those friendships turning into something more.

He had already "super liked" me (meaning he swiped up, thus showing a deeper interest than a simple right swipe) and I was totally into him. I also swiped up and immediately messaged him.

Hey Steven! Normally I'm not one to message first, but after reading your bio I thought it'd be nice to chat with you. :) How are you?!

He reciprocated.

Hey :), I'm doing well thanks. How about you? I'm usually the one to message first, but I am just getting on this app now. I liked reading through your profile as well; I have a deep appreciation for the fact that you're confident in yourself. It's a sign of real strength. Where are you from?

And we kept talking over the course of a few days. His responses were coming in slow, but I patiently awaited each and every one. We then decided that it was time to finally meet; we decided on a Dunkin Donuts close to my house, and that's when the sparks flew. We had a great three-hour-long conversation over coffee. Our second "date," which was a few days after that, took place at my house. I cooked us tomato soup and we spent hours talking. When he was on his way out, I kissed him for the first time. And let me tell y'all - the kiss was pretty awful.

I definitely caught him off guard and it was kind of funny, but also kind of awkward. Regardless, I knew I really liked him and that I wanted to keep seeing him. So that's what I did. And before you knew it, we were ready to be exclusively seeing each other.

A lot of people had asked me why I jumped into a relationship so quickly after my breakup with my ex. Here's the thing: my ex and I were over long before the relationship actually ended. I'd say our relationship ended over a year before he actually left, and I spent all of that time mourning what I knew would eventually become the official end of our journey together. Once he was physically gone, I was hurt for only a very brief period of time, because I dealt with all of the heartbreak before it was even over.

I wasn't looking to move on so quickly, but I've never been the type to pass up an opportunity to find love. I love being in love, and Steven has shown me love in a way that no other man has before. He reassures me that I'm not crazy and that it's okay to have feelings. He was there for me during more than one difficult time. He continues to help me financially as I struggle to get back on my feet after moving out of my house. He checks up on me constantly. He feeds me. He kisses my forehead and rubs my temples when my sinuses are acting up. He has shown me that I never knew what love was until I met him; my exes before him were in my life for different reasons, but none of those reasons were love.

And sure, you can think I'm being crazy for knowing that I love him after only being with him for half a year, but feelings are feelings. I thought I'd have to settle for another half-ass relationship, perhaps years from now; little did I know I'd find my breath, my best friend, my soulmate, on some stupid friggin' app like Tinder. It just goes to show, though, that love can really be found anywhere. You just have to be open to the opportunity!


with love,

holly ✨